'F' Small Town Drivers

I live in a pretty small town. Technically it's a city, but if you don't have a place for poor people to shop (Food4Less or WalMart) then you're just a town. I've learned that when driving around this crap-berg, the only thing that matters is distance. No "faster, but longer" route exists as it does in a real city. Oh there are parts where you might think you could go faster, but that's when you get behind a local toad-cock that has nothing better to do than go 10 miles below the speed limit before taking the widest god damned right-turn possible, without leaving city limits. And don't think that just because you are on one of the 3 two-laned mega-highways in town that you'll be able to escape. That's when you'll get behind two like-minded douche-enthusiasts that will race to see who can come to a stop the slowest at a green light. So when you are selecting the exit to take in analville U.S.A. just go for the shortest distance because either way it will take you 45 minutes to go that last mile. 'F' you Small Town Driver! It's the one on the Left! Now Go!


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