Crippling Heterosexuality

I recently went on a trip with some friends of mine where we stayed in a hotel for the night. Now the big problem for a few guys staying in a hotel room is the sleeping arrangements. We wanted to save some money so decided to share a room. This room has two beds and we have three dudes. One of my friends immediately announces, “Two men are not sleeping in the same bed.” I guess two guys can bang each other all they want, but sleeping is out of the question. Anyway, we considered that as him volunteering to sleep on the floor. So he gets up the next day and immediately starts bitching about how his back hurts. I guess he was suffering from a case of crippling heterosexuality.

It seems like a lot of people in this country suffer from crippling heterosexuality. Proving how not gay we are has gone to ridiculous lengths. We Americans can’t educate our children, manufacture anything, balance a budget, our even have a government that at least respects us enough to lie to us anymore. But hey, we can keep the queers from getting married. That must be the cause of all our problems. Nut licking nuptials probably even cause cancer. That must be the reason because if we look at this rationally then gay marriage makes perfect sense. If you hate fags then you should want them to get married. It’s kind of lake a little gay quarantine. Think about it, two dudes or chicks get together and only stay with each other. It’s perfect, that way they aren’t out around town spreading their ‘gay’ everywhere. They can’t have kids, so the gay will eventually snuff itself out, like an outbreak of ebola. Now you’re probably saying, “What about adoption? They could adopt and infect those children with gay.” Well, then don’t let them adopt white kids. Because really, isn’t it all about looking out for the white children?


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