I have a long haired dachshund named Chester. Well he’s not really my dog all the time. He doesn’t live with me, but when I see him he knows it’s me so it’s like he’s my dog for a bit. Just go with it for fucks sake, will ya? Anyway, a lot of people don’t know this, but dachshund is actually German for badger dog. See they’re really small with long noses so that they can chase a badger down its hole. And they have a long tail so that when he gets a badger, the hunter grabs the tail, yanks the dog and badger out of the hole, swings it around his head and then lets that fucker fly about 50 feet.