The Sweetest Problems on Earth

Too many people have problems that aren't really problems. Life is so good for most Americans that we have to invent problems. The following are problems that someone in the former Congo would probably give what's left of their genitalia for:

4. "Guys/Girls just keep hitting on me. I'm just too good looking, I wish it would stop."
3. "My penis is so big that it messes up my balance and I keep tripping"
2. "I have such huge muscles from doing 'roids that I rip the sleeves of my shirt        everytime I open a door."
1. "I lived to be over 60 years old and now I have cancer/heart disease/etc."

Now you're probably saying, "Hey, diseases are real problems!" Look, if you live for a long time, diseases aren't problems, they are just the price of getting old. A kid that dies from a bad case of diarrhea in the third world would pleasure 60 year-olds with heart disease for the chance to become a 60 year-old with heart disease getting pleasured by a young boy. We just need some perspective on things.

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